Download the coping with the loss of your pet leaflet
Companionship
The pets we keep are very special to us. There are many different ways that animals contribute to our lives. Pets can bring us immeasurable rewards in the form of companionship, protection, relaxation, exercise… to name but a few. They may be a link with events or people in our lives and the bond that we form with them may be very strong.
Euthanasia - A Big Decision
We are responsible for the animal during its lifetime, and we are also responsible during the time of illness and death. It is natural to feel guilty when considering euthanasia. Sometimes we may feel angry that the animal cannot be saved and often think... ‘If only I had done... things could have been different’. It is important to discuss your concerns with your vet, who will be able to advise and guide you towards the correct decision. This should re-assure you that the decision you have made, whatever the reason for euthanasia, has been the most appropriate one.
Grief
Pets are usually considered to be part of our family or an integral part of our lives and we may mourn at their death just as if we have lost a human friend or member of the family. The depth of emotion felt is often unexpected, but when you consider the friendship that may have been lost, the feelings of grief are not surprising. Each of us experiences the grieving process in a unique way. Often the first reaction is disbelief. It may be hard to accept that our animal is no longer with us. The house feels so empty and it is difficult to come to terms with the fact that your pet will not be coming back. The feelings of loss may be particularly deep if you have depended on your pet for emotional support. You may feel very sad and low for a while.
Sometimes the loneliness is magnified by a lack of understanding from others. Some people may lose confidence and feel anxious about other animals that are in their care. It helps to share your feelings with a friend, a member of the veterinary staff or someone else who has had a similar experience. It is helpful to realise that your reaction to losing your pet is a normal response and these emotions can be considered a tribute to what your pet has meant to you.
The Future…
After a while you will feel more able to direct your energies towards the future. Some people will soon want to fill the gap left by the loss of their pet. Other people may not be ready to get another animal for some time and may feel as if they are betraying their dead pet by investing love in another one. This is a normal but transient feeling. Only you will be able to decide when you are ready to introduce a new animal into the household. We should understand that a new animal does not replace the pet that has been lost but brings into the home a new presence that fills the emptiness.
Helping children to cope
Losing a family pet may be one of the first deaths we experience as children. Children should be told the truth about their pet, and from someone they know. The death of the pet should be explained in honest, simple language that they will fully understand, avoiding ambiguous phrases like “put to sleep”. If possible the child should be warned if their pet is terminally ill or if euthanasia is going to be performed so that they can ask questions, prepare themselves for the loss and say their farewells.
If your child wishes to be present at the time of euthanasia or to see the pet’s body afterwards, then please discuss this with your vet who will be able to offer advice. It is important to allow time for discussion at this very sensitive time; be prepared to show your feelings and talk about the animal’s death.
Children may want to make some mark of remembrance to their dead pet.
If burial of the body is not possible they may want to bury a momento, such as their pets toy or lead, in a favourite spot and plant some bulbs or flowers. Some children may want to draw pictures or write poems. This will help them grieve and come to terms with the loss. Children who can grieve and then let go of their grief will be better prepared for future losses in their life.
Helpful Books
Goodbye, Dear Friend, by Virginia Ironside
Robson Books
ISBN: 1861050313
Death of an Animal Friend, Society of Companion Animal Studies
Blue Cross, Shilton Road, Burford, Oxfordshire OX18 4PF
ISBN: 0951545329
Absent Friends, by Martyn and Laura Lee
Ringpress Books
ISBN: 1850540896
The Pet Bereavement Support Service offers help and a sympathetic ear for recently bereaved pet owners. Tel: 0800 0966606.
The information on this page is available in a leaflet format, if you would like a copy please contact Petsavers on
email: info@petsavers.org.uk,
telephone: 44 (0)1452 726723
Post: Petsavers
Woodrow House
1 Telford Way
Waterwells Business Park
Quedgeley
Gloucester GL2 2AB